Use it or...

"You can either use it or let it use you. What do you decide?"

I was speaking with a friend at our Young Adults hangout tonight, and we began talking about my story and my journey to where I am now. She asked me how to move from an “agreement trauma” mindset to a “transformed trauma” mindset (my words, not hers).

To me, an agreement trauma mindset is when you accept trauma as something that happened to you, and you allow it to define you and dictate your future. A transformed trauma mindset, however, acknowledges the trauma but chooses to let it shape your future for good.

This is not always easy. Trust me—I’ve been there so many times. For myself, I hold onto the belief, “If my story, my pain, my suffering can help just one person, it was all worth it.” And I truly believe that. Everything was worth it—the surgeries, the self-harm, the depression, the scars, the struggles—all of it—if it means one person can live a better life because God used my pain to reach them.

There’s a Bible verse that reminds me of this truth: “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3). God doesn’t waste our pain. He uses it to heal, to transform, and to bring beauty from the ashes. I love how Isaiah 61:3 speaks to this: “to provide for those who grieve...to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.”

In every painful moment, God is working to bring something good. It’s in these moments that He can take our ashes and turn them into beauty. I’ve learned to hold onto that truth, even when the road seems long and the healing slow.

I wasn’t always in the transformed category. In fact, just the other day at work, a memory hit me. A sweet older man from Michigan bluntly asked, “Were you burned?” Now, I know questions like that come up, but sometimes they catch me off guard. That one threw me for a loop. So, I explained, as best I could. But afterward, I thought to myself: If you had asked me that question years ago, I would’ve been shy and scared. I would’ve avoided the situation altogether, not wanting anyone to see my scars.

But now? I wear them boldly and proudly because they are the beauty marks of my God. Each scar tells a story, each one a part of God’s redemption in my life. Each time I see my scars, I touch the lines or feel the bumps, I am reminded of God's promise to keep me alive. I am reminded that I was not meant to be this far, from every medical perspective I should be dead. But God. I’m reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9: “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” My scars are part of my weakness, yes—but it’s in this very weakness that God’s power is revealed.

There is something so profound in the idea that God is not afraid of our brokenness. In fact, He uses it to show His strength. Sometimes, I think the world tells us to hide our pain, to put on a mask, to pretend that everything is fine. But God is not about masks. He is about transformation. He can take what the enemy meant for harm and use it for His glory and our good. And when we walk in that transformation, we become living testimonies of His healing power.

So, what in your life needs to be transformed into a new mindset? Let me tell you: It’s not simple. It’s not easy. But it’s worth it! I know that with God, even our most painful experiences can be used to create something beautiful. As Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” No matter what you’re facing, God is working behind the scenes, bringing about good from the hurt and brokenness.

This journey doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process, a continual choice to lean into God's healing power. Some days are harder than others. There are moments when the weight of my past feels heavier than I want to carry. But in those moments, I remember that I don’t have to carry it alone. I have a Savior who bore all my pain on the cross, who understands every wound I carry, and who offers me peace and healing beyond measure. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28).

If you’re struggling, if you’re in the midst of your own pain, I want to encourage you to keep going. Hold on to the truth that God is not finished with you. He is a master redeemer, and He specializes in making something beautiful out of broken things. Your story is not over. In fact, your story is just getting started.

Listen to my heart here: just because you chose to see it as good and not bad, does not mean it excuses the behavior of others. Just because you decide how it will impact your future, doesn't take the hurt away. It simply is telling the enemy that he stole some of your past but he is NOT allowed to touch the future. It does not say what happened was okay or easy. But it does say that it is not going to forever harm you.

Keep pressing forward, even when it feels difficult. God is with you every step of the way, and He will use your story to bring hope and healing to others. And as you walk through your transformation, remember that you are never alone. God is there, and He is working in ways you may not always see, but He is at work.

“The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your love, O Lord, endures forever—do not abandon the works of your hands.” (Psalm 138:8)