Absolutely overflowing. That’s the only way I can describe my heart after reading the email I’ve spent most of my life praying would one day arrive. Fourteen years — ever since I was a 12-year-old kid still learning how to love my healing skin in the mirror — I’ve dreamt of this moment. Dreamed of the experience. Of finally being able to overcome and be something better.
As a little girl still clinging to life in the burn unit and beyond the unit, I used to daydream about someday being whole again. I imagined myself smiling without fear, meeting other kids who looked like me or ones that didn't care that I looked different, and maybe — just maybe — helping someone else feel brave too. As I went through my childhood, I did not feel like I was brave or strong. Depression held me so close I couldn't breath, PTSD and Anxiety shackled me in weight so heavy I couldn't move, and I was captive to it all. It felt too heavy, everything felt too heavy to survive.
However, Burn camp became that sacred place where those dreams slowly started to feel possible. It’s where I first took off my pressure garments in front of others and was not ashamed to show the scars, where I laughed again without flinching at curious stares, where my spirit slowly stitched itself back together through campfires (which I had to overcome the fear of as well), messy art projects, games, and the kind of friendships that heal you from the inside out. It was the first place I called myself beautiful. The place that gave me a week to just have fun, no cares on how I was different or that I looked different. No one telling me I couldn't do something but instead encouraging me to try new things. I didn’t just grow up at camp… I became myself there.
For those who don’t know, the IAFF (International Association of Fire Fighters) hosts a national burn camp in Washington, D.C. Each year, just 50 campers and 50 counselors — representing burn camps across the U.S. and Canada — are selected. It’s more than a camp; it’s a once-in-a-lifetime honor. As a kid, I used to imagine getting picked... but life had a way of saying “not yet.”
This year, I felt God nudging me to try again. With trembling hands and a shaky voice, I nominated myself — not because I thought I would be chosen, but because I decided to believe in the woman I’ve become, letting go of that child that still tries to coward away when opprotunity comes. I knew the others being considered were extraordinary in every way so if I wasn't chosen, I was still going to be so excited for them.
At Miracle Burn Camp of Iowa, we gathered to vote. First the camper… and it was my girl — someone I watched walk through the doors as a little one. Then came the counselor vote. We scribbled names, and my heart thundered as I waited. Suddenly, Bridget looked at me… my eyes met her eyes and I just burst into tears. A counselor — me. The kid who once wondered if she would ever grow into her scars. The kid who used to be so homesick they would bribe me to stay at camp. The girl who came year after year because I saw something special. The woman who is ready to step out further into her calling and grow into her own shoes. Overwhelmed by the love around me, I crumpled into my best friend’s arms as he whispered how proud he was. Hugs from counselors who raised me, from people who knew me before I knew myself. Some of these counselors have watched me grow up, from that terrified little girl who would have done anything to not be seen to this woman I am today that does everything to ensure my story is used for good! They watched me grow over 19 years, some just met me, yet all had a huge impact to my story and thus this honor. I felt like I had just won the lottery of purpose.
Being a burn survivor shaped everything about who I am. It’s why I’m so passionate about standing as a role model — not for applause, but so others can look at my story and find hope in their own. As a Fire Chaplain and trauma pastor, my heartbeat is to love, support, and speak life over the heroes who run toward the flames while others run away. To remind them light does still exist… sometimes you just need someone to sit with you in the smoke.
So to be selected to represent Miracle Burn Camp on a national level — as both a burn survivor and mentor — is a sacred honor. I’m eager to learn, grow, network, and step into all God has set before me.
For weeks now I have prayed over this opportunity, and every single time I hear God whisper: “This is only the beginning.” Something in me knows He’s getting ready to launch me into a new season — one I never could’ve imagined when I was that scared, burned, little girl hanging on to survival.
This is just the start… and I’m saying yes with everything I am. Here’s to the dreams that refuse to die — and the scars that teach us how to live and the opportunities that are born from the ashes!
