Four Years and counting

4 Years in PA

Four years ago TODAY, my parents and I drove 1,160 miles away from everything that had ever been familiar to me.

Away from the home I grew up in. Away from having my family just a few minutes away. Away from the routines, places, people, and comforts that had shaped the first 23 years of my life.

I was determined to make the most of this new adventure I had chosen for myself.

I remember how enormous that distance felt.

Because 1,160 miles isn't just a number when everything you know is on the other side of it.

You don't pack 23 years of memories into boxes and simply unpack them somewhere new. You carry them with you.

And the truth is, I was a very broken person at that moment. I was in a really bad place mentally, and I simply wasn't the person I wanted to be. Just months before I was considering ending my life because I was struggling so much. I had a lot of things inside of me that I hadn't figured out how to deal with yet. But you don't leave those things behind when you go. They come along too.

You carry the fears, the questions, the grief of what you're leaving, the parts of yourself you're still trying to understand, and the hope that maybe, just maybe, there is something waiting for you on the other side.

And there was.

I just didn't know it yet.

Somewhere along those 1,160 miles, I wasn't simply moving to Pennsylvania.

I was becoming someone new.

I found people who became family.

I found places that began to feel like home.

I found opportunities I never could have imagined.

I found pieces of myself I didn't even know were missing.

And most importantly, I found Christ in ways I never expected.

I've learned that sometimes God doesn't show us the whole road before asking us to take the first step. Sometimes He simply asks us to trust Him enough to leave the familiar behind.

And over these four years, He has grown me, stretched me, challenged me, broken down walls I didn't know I had built, and slowly transformed me into someone I am genuinely proud of becoming.

I'm not the same person who crossed that state line four years ago. And honestly, I'm really proud of that.

Four years ago, I said goodbye to the life I knew.

Today, I look back and realize I wasn't leaving my life behind at all.

I was walking into it.

Four years later, Pennsylvania isn't just the place I moved to.

It's the place where so much of my story happened.

The place where I grew.

The place where I struggled.

The place where I healed.

The place where I met people who changed me.

The place where God continued writing a story I never could have written for myself.

I've had opportunities to lead programs I only dreamed of working with, travel to places I had only ever seen in pictures, explore new hobbies and loves with friends who share those same passions, swing dance until my legs were tired and weak, reenact history with my heart focused on the past, and make more memories than I could ever possibly list.

I've laughed here.

I've cried here.

I've struggled here.

I've celebrated here.

I've mourned here.

I've questioned here.

I've grown here.

I've discovered parts of myself here.

And somehow, through all of it, this place that once felt so incredibly far away became home.

Four years ago, I crossed a state line.

I had no idea I was crossing a threshold.

I had no idea how much my life was about to change.

I had no idea how much Christ was going to change me.

And if I could go back and talk to the 23-year-old version of myself sitting in that car four years ago, I'd tell her:

You have no idea how beautiful the road ahead is going to be.

You have no idea how much you're going to grow.

You have no idea how many people are going to love you.

You have no idea how many memories you're about to make.

And you have no idea how proud you're going to be of the person you become.

Here's to four years in Pennsylvania.

Four years of every mile, every memory, every person, every hard season, every lesson, every answered prayer, every unanswered prayer, every beautiful surprise, and every moment that somehow made this place home.

Four years later, I still can't believe I did it.

But I did.

And I wouldn't trade the leap for anything. ❤️

To all my people back in Iowa: I do miss you. Come visit anytime. You raised me, shaped me, loved me, and helped make me who I am, and I couldn't be more grateful for you.

And to all my people here in Pennsylvania: thank you from the bottom of my heart for making this my home.

Thank you for holding me, growing me, challenging me, loving me, accepting me, and giving me a place to belong.

Growing up with a "difference" makes you wonder if people will accept you when everything is new. It makes you wonder if people will see the differences before they see the person.

But you didn't.

You opened your arms and took me in.

You gave me a place at the table.

You became part of my story.

And I will never stop being grateful for that.

Four years ago, I came here not knowing what was waiting for me.

Today, I look around and realize just how much I found.

And maybe that's the craziest part of all.

I came to Pennsylvania looking for a new adventure.

I found a new life.

And somewhere along the way, I found a new version of me, too.